I debated whether I should even write this article. We don’t want to focus on death in the current climate. But now funerals are restricted to loved ones only, it’s time to think about yours (not during the current situation – we’ll get through this - but at any point in the future).
I’m telling you this because I don’t want your loved ones fighting over this should you pass away.
And neither do you.
As a British expat, I have a desire to have my funeral in Luxembourg for two reasons – I see the UK as my birth country and not my home country, and…tax. There are certain criteria under which the UK will consider you ‘UK domiciled’ – not during your life, but after your death. This means my non-British partner would get whacked with a whopping 40% inheritance tax bill after I die, despite us having no assets in the UK. One criterion is if I want to be buried or cremated in the UK. So that’s why I researched funerals in Luxembourg.
I realised how ‘same, but different’ Dutch funerals are to British funerals when I attended one in the Netherlands a few years ago, my first non-British funeral. This would mean the idea my (non-British) partner has is probably different to that which my family has (hint: There’s more alcohol after a British funeral, naturally).
So, here’s some helpful tips that may help you, if you wish to be cremated here. (This article is not about religion; it’s about practicalities, and I only refer to cremations).
Create a document
Create a document for your loved ones outlining not just your wishes, but how their expectations might differ to what is the norm in Luxembourg.
Make sure this is shared with those nearest and dearest, and ensure that you date it (in case you change it in the future). Request that they share the relevant information with all attendees, so they also know what to expect.
This document is vital in preventing rifts between your loved ones, should everyone’s expectations be different. If you are unsure of what to put in such a document, consult online resources or ask a Luxembourg-based undertaker for help.
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A funeral without a body?
Cremations in Luxembourg normally take place in Hamm crematorium within 72 hours of death (it may be extended to six working days for foreign residents, but don’t bank on that).
Your family and friends may have to travel and might not make it here within such a short time period.
Perhaps consider having Luxembourg residents at your crematorium service, and another service after (humanitarian / religious), which your overseas loved ones can attend. They need to be aware that there will be an urn, not a coffin (pop that fact in your document).
The crematorium service
PACs and wedding ceremonies can be conducted in English, but not state-conducted funeral services (I’m not sure my older mother would appreciate having to learn German in three days ahead of a service, as well as swiftly jumping on a flight to get here). The crematorium service takes around 15 minutes (perhaps shorter than you might anticipate), and is delivered by crematorium employees in Luxembourgish, French, or German (although undertakers can source a civil ceremony English speaker, for a fee).
This short service, in a language perhaps not spoken by your loved ones, is why I propose holding a separate service at a more convenient time, and in a language of your choice.
Where to scatter your ashes
Luxembourg won’t allow ashes to be kept at home without written permission from your mayor. Your ashes can be repatriated. Both these options may be fairly bureaucratic. Alternatively, your urn can be kept at a columbaria in a cemetery here, or scattered at selected cemeteries’ fields. Your urn can also buried under an oak tree in the Cessange forest cemetery, Bëschkierfech (available to all city residents, or those who died in the city).
So, there it is. It’s not something we want to think about, particularly at a time like this. But it’s something we should all consider, and write down. And do your research – your embassy, your commune, and Google in general, provide a wealth of information on how funerals work here in the Grand Dutchy.
The above information is merely a brief guide to set your expectations, so, in turn, you can do the same for your loved ones.
Perhaps the ‘not wanting to think about it’ is why funerals here remain geared towards the Luxembourgish population, rather than inclusive of us foreigners who now call this beautiful (and accommodating) country our home.
